Paige needs us

You are going about your daily life, your busy schedule,  grocery shopping, paying bills, walking your dog. Your phone rings- and your world is flipped upside down.

Your child has been in an accident. She is on her way to the closest nearby big city hospital via LifeFlight helicopter. Your life and hers will never be the same.

A fellow 'townie' in my small town, Virginia Page, recently experienced this tragic scenario with her beautiful daughter Paige. Paige is just 18 years old- vibrant, full of life, beautiful.

She has suffered devastating injuries that required the loss of her foot and part of her leg. She will have more surgeries and a long hospital stay- and then a long road to recovery.

I've known Ginnie for about 25 years give or take. She's a hard working chick- who does what it takes to get by. She's an amazingly talented photographer- capturing some wonderful images, including Logan in his first canoe race, which she graciously gave me the following day. She has 2 daughters, whom she adores and are often the gorgeous subjects of her photographs.

This family needs our help. Please "like" the Facebook page  Let's Help Paige for updates. This could happen to anybody- to any of us. I know its easy to say "its just a leg" and "at least she's alive"- and I believe a positive attitude is best. But its not your leg. Its not your child's leg. This has got to be the hardest thing they will ever walk through- and they need our support.

Like I said, I know these girls. They are some tough cookies, and I know they will soar through this with grace- but not ease. That is the part they need help with. If you can do something- anything- to help ease the burden while they focus on recovery, please consider making a donation. A mother shouldn't have to stress and lose sleep over missing income while she is at her daughters bedside holding her hand.

Several businesses are pitching in to help. Donations can be made to The Paige Fortin Recovery Fund.

The Liebster Award!

I was bestowed the Liebster Blog Award from Slice of Humble  over at Humble Writes Words

Tada!!!

This is pretty cool, considering I: a) have not been doing this for all that long

b) idolize and adore Slice of Humble

c) LOVE AWARDS!!

It's a great way to share our blogs, and see is reading who. I LOVE the fact that the bloggers I have met and interact with support each other. This is one of the best things I have found about blogging.

 

How the Liebster Award works...

1. Thank the Leibster Award presenter on your blog
2. Link back to the blogger who presented it to you
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog
4. Present the award to 5 blogs that deserve to be noticed
5. Let them know they have been presented with the Liebster Award by commenting on their blog
6. Jump on one foot
7. Make a wish
8. Remember you are awesome

(Humble, did you add 6, 7 & 8??)..cuz I totally did this

Here are the blogs that I think deserve special recognition for putting themselves and their words out there.

 

 Blissfully Discontented 

Grape Jelly on Pizza

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry

Tripping While Standing Still

Tree the Snake

 

These 5 blogs, and the women who write them- have all been a support to me and friends to me. I enjoy their posts, and their company.

 

XOXOXO much love to you ladies!

An open letter to all parents

Hi : ) Especially hi to all the folks who are brand new to this blog. I just wanted to write a very quick letter (aka blog) because of an inboxed message that I received today.

The message was from a person that I know, and they have kids of their own. Their children do not have any special needs. The message was sent because this person was a bit hurt that I have implied that they do not 'understand' and that we special needs parents have a bond that other people don't 'get'.

I read this, then re-read it. I did reply, and I would like to share with you what I said, because I, in no way, have meant to offend or alienate anyone- I realize all (or most) parents love their children with all of their hearts, fight for them on a daily basis, and have strong bonds with them. I would never imply otherwise. I have a daughter without any special needs, and I feel the same love, dedication and devotion to her as I feel for Logan- its just a little bit different.

What I mean when I say that special needs parents have a bond is this:

Parenting a child is tough. I get that. I have done that, and am doing that. You have your child, he/she grows, develops a personality, learns his/her ABC's, enrolls in school, maybe joins soccer/brownies/swimming- whatever. I did all of this with Abby, I get it. She was an early talker, and picked things up very quickly. She went to school, made friends, brought home papers with star stickers on them. She played soccer (albeit not very well) and we went to practices, games, had pictures taken- all that. She joined Brownie's, after school programs, got invited to birthday parties. She received awards, did Science projects, and made Christmas lists.

I proudly shared these moments with others. I called up friends and relayed her progress "Abby won a trophy! Abby got straight A's!"

When you have a child with any significant special needs- now, this can be mental, emotional or physical- this can even be illness or injury related- but if you have a child who has needs, the things I listed above may be extremely difficult to achieve, or absent all together. This makes parenting a child with special needs extremely lonely. If you are lacking things to brag about, or if your things are very small (to others, not to you!), some parents might not appreciate this huge achievement the way a parent who is experiencing this might. I mean honestly- if your little Susie just won Class President today, but your friend's teenager learned to tie his shoes today, although you may realize this is an accomplishment, you might not understand that this achievement feels the same to us- see what I mean?

When you have another parent who has a child that has also watched an entire class of kids pass by- you have a bond. When you have another parent who has a child who does not get invited to birthday parties, cannot pass in a Science project, cannot write out a Christmas list- you have a bond. You have an unspoken understanding- you know how that parent feels.

I have been, and continue to be on both sides of this fence. I have one child who excels- she is fantastic at anything she sets her mind to doing, and I have one child who struggles to write his own name. I love them equally, but I support them differently. Unless you have a child who needs this type of "different" support, you can't relate- as hard as you may try.

I don't want to make anyone feel like I am saying they are less of a parent- that's not IN ANY WAY what I am saying! You SHOULD be proud, you should share the excitement of trophies and awards and good grades. I WANT to hear about those things! I'm proud of your child too, because its tough to be a kid these days. I love parents who want to brag! I just want you to know that although I am happy for you and your child, I am envious at times. I wouldn't trade Logan for anything- and I wouldn't change him. I wish things were easier for him, yes, but I would never want him to be different.

I just want you all to know- although I may post about our struggles, his struggles- and I may post about our fight- I understand that every parent is fighting, and every child struggles with something at some point. I am on a more difficult journey than some of you, and some of you are on a more difficult journey than I am, but we are all on a journey that hopefully ends with our kids growing into happy adults.

Look inside yourself

I need to be skinnier to love myself. I just shared that on my page, and it got me thinking. I'm guilty of this, I think most girls/women (men even?) are. We are 5 lbs over, 10 lbs, 50 lbs over what we 'think' is our ideal weight, or we are not the shape we wish we were.

What's surprising to me, is how often someone will express their unhappiness with their own weight - and so many of us immediately argue with them. We tell them they're nuts! They aren't "fat" or aren't as overweight as they think. This tells me that more often than not, its our self image- not 100% our weight, and this is sad to me. There is an awesome website called My Body Gallery FULL of every height, weight, size woman you can think of. You punch in your own specs and it shows you what you really look like (or close to it). Check it out- I am willing to bet you will be surprised and think "wow, those women don't look as bad as I picture myself looking".

Everyone wants to be healthy. Everyone wants to be desirable, looked up to, respected. This is not the definition of skinny or thin. You can carry a few extra pounds and be attractive, sexy, respected, desired, loved.

One person, who we all know and love, that does not let their body interfere with their happiness- is Logan. We can all learn something from him about this. Logan was a failure to thrive baby/toddler. He was extremely underweight for almost 5 yrs. We worked hard to bulk him up, and eventually he turned the corner and the weight started to go the other way. Nobody can say if this was due to an undiagnosed genetic condition, and it can be frustrating. He eats well, not a health food nut by any means, but not a junk food junkie. He likes fruits, vegetables, fish etc. He drinks water. He is extremely active. He is just very overweight. But he is unaffected by this (for the most part).

He will go to the beach- strip his shirt off- and bound down the sand to the water- totally uninhibited. I envy that in him. I wish I could do that. He has a confidence- regardless of his weight- and I think this is his innocence coming into play. He has not been bombarded by the messages that we have in our society. You HAVE to be thin. You HAVE to be fit. You HAVE to be the ideal- for people to like/love/want/respect you. He doesn't have any of these emotional seeds planted in his head. He likes people if they are nice, if they treat him well- not if they are in shape- so he expects the same out of us. He has no shame in his game, it does not cross his mind that someone may judge him based on his appearance.

If you are kind, smart, respectful, loving- shouldn't that be enough? Don't live every day wishing you were thinner. Thinner does not mean better. It's a mental/emotional trap set by beauty standards that 98% of us cannot live up to. That's why we're not all supermodels, we're not all on the covers of magazines. Don't live in a "I'm too fat for that" fog. Get out there and enjoy your life. You loved to swim as a kid but now despise bathing suit season? Find a beach where nobody knows you- and let it fly! The feeling is liberating. You used to work out but now feel like a chubs on the treadmill? Go to the gym if you want- and hold your head high. You're there for you and your health, not to achieve the gym bunny on the elliptical's physique, or to impress the buff guy bench pressing. Don't let them intimidate you- you are NOT LESS than them. You are waiting to reward your weight loss with a new outfit? Buy it now! When you look good, you feel good. If you are intent on losing weight and getting in better shape- that's awesome! But feel good while you're doing it, don't beat yourself up. Keep your chin up, and your spirits will stay up.

Love your heart. Love your soul. Love your intelligence. Love your sense of humor. Love your loyalty to your family. Love yourself- no matter what shape/size/weight. You matter, you're worth it.

bent out of shape

I'm pissy today. Bent out of shape. Resentful. Spiteful. Whatever you want to call it.

It started last night- I caught a show about these people who had taken the life of a young man. The woman recounted her story without emotion, without empathy. She finally shed a tear when she mentioned how her being incarcerated had impacted HER life and children. I was pissed. I was yelling at the tv like it was a heated football game. HER life? What about this poor man's family? His future? F*ck you lady! Rot in jail!

Waking up today- and having it be 9/11. More evil crosses my mind. I feel like I want to wrap my family up in a warm fuzzy blanket and barricade them into our home, fully armed. What's lurking outside our doors?

I got a call from a very rude customer today and it kicked me into a tailspin. She was so outwardly, needlessly rude, I wasn't sure how to feel, but it really hurt my feelings and pissed me off. I was trying to turn it around but could feel a spark sizzling...


Then, I read Mary Tyler Mom's Donna story for the day. As usual, my heart melted into my soul. My eyes burned with tears. My stomach churned in knots. She has a way of bringing a reader right into Donna's world at that moment, letting us feel her pain- and also moments of joy. I don't know this family personally, but I feel a love for them, especially for Donna. It's like she's carved herself a little spot in my heart, and she will always reside there. Mary Tyler Mom is extremely generous to share this little angel warrior with all of us. She could selfishly lock her memories away- to keep them for herself- but she chooses to share. That means so much to so many people.

Cancer- any kind of cancer- is a demon. But CHILDHOOD cancer....that is Satan himself. The statistics are mind boggling. It's so unfair. I have more than one person on my personal friends page that have children who deal with either medical or developmental issues of some kind. Woven into the feed of first day of school pictures and summer camp graduations, there are posts about trach appointments, stoma's closing, fighting insurance, IEP meetings, bullying and prejudices.

I try to be upbeat and optimistic- I try SO hard- but honestly some days..life really seems to suck. I'm not saying my life itself is bad- I love my life, and wouldn't trade it. I am saying, the things that go on around us on a daily basis, the evil, the illness, the innocent children facing such huge obstacles- these things suck.

I've seen Logan win many small battles, but he is still fighting the war. He has had to work so hard to get to where he is, it kills me that he struggles. His spirit is amazing- just like these other kids I read about. I wish I knew why some have a childhood of trauma, hospitals, and hardships.

Some days its so hard to stay in the positive when so many families and children are fighting such intense battles. Much love to any one of you who may be struggling XOXO

September 11th

 

I heard a report, but I couldn't be sure

If true, this was more than we could endure

 

A nation sat gripped in silent fear

Waiting for news of those they held dear

 

How could this happen, could this be real?

A flood of emotions, not sure what to feel

 

Anger, disgust, sadness, despair

Lives stolen that day..it just wasn't fair

 

A world left reeling- badly shaken

These lives weren't lost, they were taken

 

So many families left with a void

Innocent people, lives destroyed

 

9/11 shook us to our core

Unsure of what might be in store

 

What would come next? when would they strike?

Would American soil become warlike?

 

To see those empty twin tower spots

To wrap my brain around evil plots

 

How can someone have so much hate?

How dare you decide so many's fate

 

So many tears, so much pain

Children ask questions..so hard to explain

 

The heroes that emerged that day..

The amazing courage on display

 

We will always be scarred, we will never forget

But we refuse to continue to let it upset

 

We will live, but free of fear

Cuz' then you'd win- that ain't happening here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Thank you Kevin

I am very, very close to my daughter Abigail. We have a great relationship all around, and I couldn't ask for a better big sister for Logan.

Abby, Kevin, Logan. Abby's 17th birthday

I wasn't sure any boy could live up to our expectations for her, but when Abby started dating Kevin and brought him home to meet us, I really liked him. I thought he was polite, considerate, sweet, and above all, treated her really well. They dated for the last couple years of high school, attending both junior and senior proms together, graduated together- and he enlisted in the Air Force. We all absolutely adored him, and Logan completely idolized him, dubbing him "schlipps" - a Logan combination of Sugar Lips (which came from my teasing one day).

Just being the kind of caring soul Kevin is, he embraced this nickname- even though "Schlipps" isnt exactly the coolest moniker. He even included it in his highschool yearbook as his 'nickname'.

Junior prom

Senior prom

Graduation

When Kevin went away to basic training, Abby was lost. They'd spent every waking moment together for years, and now she didn't have her closest friend. After the first 2 weeks of meltdowns, she started to come to grips with it, and she fell into a new routine. She furthered her education and hung out more with her best friend Annie (another awesome kid!)

Seth and Abby went out to Texas for Kevin's BMT graduation, and she started going to visit him more and more while he was in tech school.

BMT (basic training) graduation

She made me very proud, suddenly a solo traveler, jetting off to here and there all alone. I was nervous, but so happy for her. One day- I got the news- He proposed.

She said Yes

When she got home from that trip, the wedding planning began. The military would only allow a small window of leave time, so we were on a time crunch and pulled it together extremely fast. The wedding was absolutely gorgeous..Sept 3 is their 1 yr anniversary.

Abby and her dad-letting his little girl go..

Kevin and his mom- giving her son to Abby..

He had to leave shortly after the wedding to return to school, and she stayed home with us until it was time to move to FL to be near his base.

In December 2011, Kevin came home, they packed up, she flew, and my husband Seth drove with Kevin. They moved in, and there they have been ever since. She's been home once in the 9 months, when my mother-in-law passed away. Logan misses them both so much. I hear it many times every day "I miss her Abby. I miss him Schlipps"

I miss her dearly but I talk to her daily, and I know they are building their life. Its so much fun hearing about all the adventures and issues that come from being a newlywed-living in a strange new place.

Recently Abby called to ask if she could move back into our home, back into her old bedroom...

Of course I said...And Kevin?

Kevin isn't coming...Kevin is deploying to Afghanistan.

So my little girl is coming home...but the man who I consider a son is going to war. This is a very odd mixture of emotions that I could surely do without. The uncertainty..the wondering..the waiting. I'm worried about him. That he'll be okay..that this might change him.

I'm so glad she will be home with us, and that will be one less worry for everyone involved, especially him over there, he really needs to stay focused and not be worrying about her. I couldn't stand the thought of her being 1500 miles away all alone..but we still have to face the fact that he will be 7500 miles away, in an unstable environment.

The impact that this is going to have on their lives is huge enormous. To be a newly married couple- so deeply in love- spending every day together- now suddenly so far apart. Its heart wrenching, its a big deal. I'm sad...but I am so, so proud.

Thank you Kevin. Thank you for giving your life to the military, and doing what needs to be done to keep us all safe. Thank you for being a great and loving husband to my daughter, and caring for her, and about her as much as we do. Thank you for being an unbelievable brother and idol to my son, and thank you for being such a wonderful son to us. I love you. Come home to us safe.