Friday, November 9, 2012
Once upon a time, there lived a very young, naive woman who fell in love, married, and had big dreams for her life. Her first born was a daughter, and she was elated. She decked her out in all things beautiful, signed her up for dance classes, treated her like a little princess. She told her every day how much she loved her, that girls could do anything and that perfect was boring.
Her second born was a son, and she was ecstatic. She thought of all the fun boy things to come, trucks, baseball, mud and fishing.
She wrote letters to these children as they grew, starting before they were even born, tucking them away in a special place for them to read as adults. They expressed all of her love, hopes and dreams for them and their futures.
The years went by, some dreams came to fruition, some slipped through the cracks. Over time this woman grew up enough to realize that some dreams slipping away were okay, as hard as they were to let go of. She learned to realize that a new dream, a different reality, was not only just acceptable, but also enjoyable.
Letting go of dreams is not easy, but it is possible. Learning to love what you have been given, not trying to change it, never judging or punishing it, and helping to nourish and encourage it as a brand new dream is success. Every person has their own dream, especially for their children, but sometimes they just aren't possible and alterations or adjustments are required. It's a process, and it took the woman a long time to accept and embrace the process as her own.
Whether your dream is for your child to go to Harvard, or for your child to simply speak someday- its your own private dream between you and your child. Don't compare it to anyone else's, and don't expect the same successes as the kid next door, or even as your other children. Some things are simply beyond our control, and acceptance is a crucial step in helping these kids attain their dreams.
I am totally okay with being this woman. I love our dreams.