There I sat, for years- first in MySpace, then my friend Lori talked me into Facebook. It was scary, hard to figure out, and I hated it at first. Once I 'got' it, I was hooked. I could see what my friends were up to, who they married, what their kids looked like, but most of all, I could see what Abby and her friends were doing. It was FUN. It was like I was a techno voyeur, lurking around, clicking on pix, status updates, comments.
After a while, Logan's classmates started making accounts. At first they were little kid accounts, and nobody posted much. A few added Abby and I would poke around a little. After a while, the accounts became more real, and I was seeing pictures of girls Logan's age in bikinis, and boys riding dirt bikes. Honestly, this part of Facebook totally sucked for me.
I am not a catty person. I am not an "oh you look so great at 40 so I freakin hate you" person. I'm glad for my friends who are successful, skinny, living the dream. I loved looking at Abby's classmates prom photos, and would smile at the gorgeous dresses, the handsome dates. But for the kids Logan's age, I couldn't get happy. I couldn't bring a smile out of myself. I was jealous, and that's not in my nature.
I was sinking- the hole was deep and dark, and I was partway down. Facebook wasn't fun anymore, and I was logging in less and less. I didn't want to see it anymore. I wanted to think of Logan's classmates as little kids who were still watching cartoons, not kids who would soon be driving and dating and doing the stuff that teens do- and now post about.
Around wintertime or so, I came across a page. I read some of her posts, and I felt connected for some reason. I read quietly, not really commenting, I wasn't in a place to share. I wasn't in a mood to converse. I kept reading. She made me smile, she touched my heart, she woke me up. That page is Slice of Humble. I posted a photo to her wall one day of Abby and Logan at Abby's wedding. Her response was so warm, so genuine. I knew I liked this girl. I continued to just love and laugh with her page, and that was enough for then.
After being a Humble fan for quite some time, and struggling with all of the shitty emotions I was feeling, I decided to vent them all- the good, the bad and the ugly- on my own page. I 100% credit Humble for giving me the courage to put it all out there- and it feels great. I feel like I can share something about Logan with all of you that most people never see, because he can't express himself like most teens his age. He is locked in a world where his thoughts often go unheard, and its not fair. I give him a voice and he gives me a purpose.
I want to thank my lovely Humble for holding my hand- even if she didn't realize it. If I had never found the Slice of Humble page, I probably wouldn't have made my page, and I wouldn't be sharing and venting and laughing and crying so openly. This has become my platform to help the world know an amazing kid, and it's also become my therapy. I am forever grateful.